This will be a short one, but true.
None of my friends think this is funny.
…So I was flicking channels on the TV one day, and came across “The Time-Traveller’s Wife”, which was a bit more than half over by then. Though I can’t fathom Rachel McAdams’ predilection for such stuff, I figured since she’s Canadian I might as well support the team and have a look…also I don’t hate Eric Bana, do I, because he played Bruce Banner in “Hulk” and also Watered-Down Khan in “Star Trek: Nemesis” or whatever it was.
So I turn the thing on, and it’s this awful tearjerking scene where their marriage (or whatever) is falling apart, because they’re experiencing things in a different order and IT’S A METAPHOR and honestly I already get this, I get all of it, one glance is enough to tell me what I need to know. So I turn it off. But then…
I can’t help wondering, you see, just how they suck people in to the narrative, to the point where what I just saw could be bearable. Where do they begin? They can’t start out with all this goopy stuff right away, can they?
So when it gets replayed around midnight, I decide to check out how it starts…and you know the beginning of it isn’t half-bad?
I can see why people would choose to get some popcorn and watch the rest?
But having already lived through the future of this movie, I know what’s coming, and decide to spare myself the pain of getting too involved with it.
…
That’s it. That’s the joke. But it really happened!
I think maybe someone OD’ed on some Alan Moore a bit, before making this thing…surely any experienced SF reader must’ve seen, after just a few minutes, the whole plan of it floating entire before their eyes, a crystalline time-solid? Yes, Veidt killed Blake, and half New York…hold on, Laurie, I’m explaining it to Rorschach five minutes from now…anyway…
Uh…
…Happy Valentine’s Day?
